Lauren Barnholdt's boyfriend list

Lauren Barnholdt wrote REALITY CHICK, which is about a normal college Freshman girl, Ally, who agrees to let her entire life -- uncensored -- be videotaped for reality television.
Even though she has a long distance boyfriend and a devastatingly cute housemate....

“This book was hilarious! I could not put it down! Barnholdt is a fresh new voice in teen fiction.” -- Sarah Mlynowski, bestselling author of Milkrun, As Seen on TV and Bras & Broomsticks

I've read Reality Chick, and it's funny and romantic and kind of creepy in that it explores all the complications that come from total invasion of privacy -- a tradeoff for temporary fame. So if you've ever wondered what it would be like to be on one of those shows, this is the book for you.

Lauren has a blog, which is about shopping and writing and La Vie de Lauren.
She's had some bad, bad boyfriends.
And she wrote them all down for us! With crying and everything.
And she pretended to like heavy metal! Which I have done, too!


These are not all the boys I've dated, just the ones that have been bad and/or have broken my heart in some way.

Ryan -- Second grade. He had spiked hair and got in trouble for writing "bite me" on his chair at school. He liked my friend Lisa better than me.

Mark -- Fifth grade. I had no chance. Everyone wanted him, and he was dating a sixth grader. But I did get to sit next to him in school.

Luke --- Seventh grade. My friend asked him if he would go out with me, and he made a motion like he was going to throw up. Then he started dating this girl who sat next to me in study hall, and I had to listen to her tell all her friends about how awesome he was.

Jim -- Ninth grade. My first kiss. We kissed at the mall after going to a movie. He broke up with me a week later, and then I caught him trying to hit on my best friend. I cried. A lot.

Brian -- Ninth grade. (Ninth grade was a bad year for me.) My first real boyfriend. We dated for a month, and then he broke up with me. I wrote him a sappy love letter to get him back, and it almost worked, until my supposed best friend hooked up with him instead (Yes, the same friend who Jim hit on. She was evil.) I cried. A lot. I stayed friends with him, though, and pretended I wasn't in love with him for ... hmm.. yup, pretty much all of high school.

Ian -- We dated my junior and senior year of high school, off and on. We fought. A lot. I cried. A lot. Finally, we broke up and he got another girlfriend like two days later. It ended with him saying to me, "Never talk to me again." Yikes.

Bill -- Freshman year of college. He had a girlfriend, but I still thought he was hot. Then they broke up, and I thought I was in. I even pretended to be interested in heavy metal music so that I could borrow some of his CDs. Finally, I told him I had a crush on him, and he wasn't interested. It was very awkward for the rest of the year.

Robbie -- Right after college. He told me wanted to marry me someday, then broke up with me after four months. I was so upset, I went away for the summer to an all-girls camp so that I wouldn't have to look at boys.

Shanna Swendson's Boyfriend List

Onceuponstilettos_1Shanna Swendson is on the GCC with me and her sequel to Enchanted Inc. is finally here. It's called Once Upon Stillettos and here's what I can tell you. Manhattan career girl works for giant magic corporation because she has a special immunity to magic. Hunky wizards. Romance. Magical sleuthing. High heels.
What's not to love?

Romantic Times Bookclub says: "Swendson offers a fresh spin on a genre in this exceptional Manhattan fairytale."

So anyway.
Shanna's boyfriend list reads like a catalog of superheroes. You gotta love that. The Incredible Disappearing Man! Lingerie man! Jabberjaws! Sleeping Bag Guy!

My list of bad almost-boyfriends
by Shanna Swendson

I haven't had a lot of real boyfriends, mostly because I manage to either
weed them out before they become real boyfriends or because they disappear
on me before they become real boyfriends. So here's my list of bad
almost-boyfriends. Names have been changed to protect the guilty (or because
I don't remember them).

1) The Incredible Disappearing Man #1 -- He might have actually made it to
boyfriend status, but it was hard to tell because he kept disappearing for
weeks at a stretch, usually right after doing something that convinced me he
really might have been a real boyfriend. After he finally disappeared for
good, I ran into him at a wedding reception a year later, and he not only
acted like nothing odd had happened, he acted like we'd never been more than
acquaintances. I suspect alien abduction.

2) Sir Galahad (Not!) -- I'd had a crush on this guy for years, and then
just as I'd given up on him, he noticed me. We went out for a couple of
times before I had to have knee surgery. A week or so after the surgery,
when my knee was still swollen to about the size of a basketball, I was
still on crutches, and I was living in a third-floor apartment so that I had
to really, really want to go out before I made the effort, he called to ask
me out on a date. I explained to him that I didn't really feel up to going
out on a date, seeing as how I was on crutches, my knee was swollen, I was
on heavy painkillers, etc., and he said, "When I'm dating someone, I like to
actually go out with them." It apparently never crossed his mind that this
was his chance to be a real hero and show up with a take-out dinner and a
movie rental and then wait on me hand and foot. I'd just taken one of the
heavy painkillers, so I don't remember what I said to him in response, but
it must have been good because he avoided me after that.

3) Sleeping Bag Guy -- I met this one at an out-of-town conference. We
really hit it off, hung out together through the whole conference, and
exchanged e-mail addresses. We e-mailed back and forth a few times, then he
announced that he'd be on vacation in my area and he'd like to see me. We
made plans to get together for some sightseeing, and I invited him to my
place for dinner. Very late that night after dinner, I was starting to make
the "it's getting late" hints, and he said, "I brought a sleeping bag. Can I
crash at your place?" It turned out that my house was his planned hotel for
his "vacation." I ended up kicking him out after two days and never heard
from him again.

4-6) Incredible Disappearing Men #s 2-4 -- I went through a phase where I'd
meet really great guys, have fun first dates, have great second dates where
we seemed to truly connect, and then he'd end those second dates by talking
about how much he wanted to get together again, going so far as to plan the
next date except for the exact time and specific logistics. And then I'd
never hear from him again. When it happened several times in a row, it kind
of gave me a complex.

Enchantedinc_17) Lingerie Man -- I met this guy soon after Thanksgiving, so we'd only had
a couple of dates before it was Christmas time. I was still pondering
whether a card might be too much so soon when he announced that he had a
gift for me. I got suspicious when he said I had to open it when we were at
home alone and managed to avoid such a situation. Good thing, because his
gift turned out to be the ugliest, sleaziest get-up from Frederick's of
Hollywood. It was so not me it wasn't even funny. He did try to pass it off
as a joke, saying he'd just wanted to see my reaction (red flag #1). Later,
when he started calling me to ask me out on Friday afternoons and accused me
of avoiding him if I'd already made other plans or if I was sick (I even had
a doctor's note), more red flags came up and I dumped him.

8) Jabberjaws -- I met this guy at a party, and he was a fun
conversationalist. But then when we went out, he told the same stories
again. And then again on our next date. I'm a good talker, myself, and I
couldn't get a word in edgewise. All he could talk about was himself and his
experiences. He couldn't even discuss the movies or concerts we'd seen
beyond "That reminds me of the time I ..." I actually fell asleep once
during a date, and he didn't even notice, he was so busy with his monologue.
I didn't go out with him again after that.

9-10) The Planners -- Another weird streak. Two different guys I dated
within months of each other did almost the same thing. They asked me out to
see a specific movie. Then they suggested getting dinner beforehand. As we
were coming out of the restaurant, they said, "Let's go see if the movie is
playing at that theater over there." It turned out they hadn't bothered to
find out where or when the movie they'd invited me to see was playing. With
one guy, I ended up driving from theater to theater (he claimed car trouble)
to see if that movie was playing, only to find out it had just started at
each of those theaters, so then we went back around to all the theaters to
see what else was playing, until I got tired of it and called it a night.
With the second guy, once we found that the movie he'd asked me to see
wasn't at the two closest theaters, I called it a night. I'm all for
spontaneity, but I feel like if you invite someone to do a specific thing,
you should at least find out where and when that thing is happening.

P.S. Shanna's blog is here, on LJ. And it is very fun reading.

Johanna Edwards' Boyfriend List

Your_big_break3jpgw180h281_1Johanna Edwards is on the GCC with me. For the release of her first book, The Next Big Thing, she did a reality-TV boyfriend list that's highly amusing.

This time, she gets a little more personal -- since her new book, YOUR BIG BREAK, is about a woman who's an expert at romantic breakups. In fact, she "facilitates" them for clients of Your Big Break, Inc. In other words, she dumps people for money. But company rule #5 (do not get personally involved) is getting harder to obey....

"People often ask how I came up with the idea of writing about a breakup service," says Johanna. "'It's so far-fetched,' they say. Or, 'Gosh, I wish these things really existed!'...Here's the surprising part. They do. You actually can hire someone to dump your lover. Crazy, huh? A brief background: Breakup services started in Japan. The Japanese call them Wakaresaseya, or "Love Separation Services." In Asia, Wakaresaseya businesses are so popular they've even spawned a hit TV show. These zany companies have only recently started to spring up in Europe and North America (Cosmo recently ran an article about them). In the US, there are currently breakup services in San Francisco and New York. But if business keeps booming, more of them could crop up soon."

Anyway. Johanna's love life is full of heartbreak (see below) but becoming a bestselling author is the best revenge. Here's her list:

Horrible Boys Who Broke My Heart
by Johanna Edwards

Mark #1 - First serious boyfriend. Broke up with me on Valentine's Day.

Robert - Really obnoxious, evil mean guy who said "I want to date you, but I'm embarrassed of what my friends will think. So can we have a secret relationship?"

Zach - My first big crush. He was the "it guy" of the fifth grade. Zach used to buy me magazines and lend me nintendo games. We hung out after school a few times and talked on the phone...I luved him so. Then one day, for no reason at all, he started ignoring me. And we never spoke again.

Mark #2 - Didn't "officially" dump me -- just told me he loved me and then chose to never, ever speak to me again. (This was when I realized it was time to stop dating guys named Mark.)

Jacob - Realized he liked my best friend better than he liked me. So he dumped me in the hopes that she would go out with him (she didn't).

John - When I caught him cheating on me, he defended it by saying, "I cheated on you FOR you. I didn't want to breakup with you because I knew it would hurt your feelings."

JJ - Decided we should have an open relationship. But didn't bother to inform me of this until AFTER he'd slept with someone else.

P.S. Johanna has a blog!

Cindy Cruciger's Scary Boyfriend list

RglgRevenge Gifts, by Cindy Cruciger (who is on the Girlfriends Cyber Circuit with me) is "romance for the lunatic fringe." It's about a woman -- Tara -- who is a lighting rod for ghosts, specifically ghosts seeking revenge. When the spirit goddess of love, envy, jealousy and revenge fixes on her, Tara's life turns around and her ten-year dating dry spell lifts. "But with all things good in a garden of evil a price must be paid..."

So. You can guess that Cindy's boyfriend list will be off the beaten path. And you'd be right! Plus, she sent over some darling pictures. And she married her best friend from high school!

Death by Dating
by Cindy Cruciger

1. --- and incidentally the worst date ever.

The guy picks me up and asks if I prefer a water bed or regular mattress. He said we were definitely "going to dinner and stuff" but he wanted to be sure he didn't blow the seduction thing later on. Apparently his previous date refused to "put out" because he had a waterbed and he'd arranged a back up location just in case for our date should it be needed.

The date ended right then and there and I never accepted a blind date ever again.

2. --- amazingly not a bad place but … Dude. Not happening. Ever …

First and only date. We went to a sports bar where – surprised the hell out of me – there was a Miss Tequila contest going on. Tequila is the reason I never ever drink more than two in twenty-four hours. Bad craziness happens. The female rep for the company came over and asked me directly to my face to enter the contest. She said she would wave the fees.

Hey! I cleaned up nice back then:


I said no. The date (Not the guy pictured with me above) was beside himself. Clearly, I was not the fun “Girl Gone Wild” he’d imagined. As he watched the models on stage pour water on their t-shirts and then rip them off, the date went further and further south with each foot of skin revealed. I ended the torment by introducing him to one of the losers and calling a friend to come get me.

3. --- I dated this one a few times but ..

I knew we would never hit it off when he insisted we would make the cutest engineer couple ever. Girl engineers did not want to be cute “anything” back then. We were fierce genius women and there was nothing cute, adorable or cuddly about us. There were five women in my class of five hundred men. Eat me, cute engineer man. Go troll the business college for dates.

--- Doomed because … well … he had bigger breasts than me

Ex-Quarter Back and I won’t say for which team. He cooked like a freaking dream and was handsome as hell. But. BUT. When he took off his shirt he had a better chest than me! I could not keep the women off of him and decided to set him free. To his credit he called repeatedly and did not want to accept that being too good looking was a negative in the dating world, but there you have it. Men like that are too much work.

5 --- Another football player for different nameless team ….

And my sorority sister has a lot to answer for with this one. If not for her I would never have met either of the two. He wasn’t hot in a traditional sense, but more importantly, he kept calling me Sweetie-pie. Not masculine and … see my engineer aversion to cuteness in any form.

My mind is blanking on details of the remaining few. I married my best friend from high school who also cooks like a dream and has never, ever called me Sweetie-pie. He calls me Sweat Pea but only when he requires a beating.


Michelle Richmond's Boyfriend List

On a warm night in July, 32-year-old Jenny finds herself sitting on the deck of a Chinese cruise ship next to a charming but secretive stranger. In Jenny's lap is a tin containing the ashes of her best friend, Amanda Ruth, mysteriously murdered fourteen years earlier in a small Alabama town.

In this foreign landscape, filled with ancient cities that will soon be inundated by the rising waters of the Yangtze River, Jenny must confront her haunted past and decide the direction of her future. As the ship moves slowly upriver, from one abandoned village to another, Jenny journeys deeper into her own guilt and eroticism.

Dream of the Blue Room explores the nature of friendship and the intimacy that exists between young girls as they struggle toward adulthood.

Sounds good, right? And Michelle Richmond, on the GCC with me, wrote it! You can read an excerpt here. And read how the book came about, in this little essay on Backstory.

Now without further ado, Michelle's boyfriend list!

Boyfriends I Never Had (and why we would have made a great match)
by Michelle Richmond

In the interest of protecting the privacy of that eclectic and well-adored group of hunksters whom I like to refer to as "all the boys I've loved before," (mcjunkin, davis, luke, etc....and of course, my one-&-only kevin), I give you here my list of Boyfriends I Should Have Had, But Didn't:

Vince Vaughn (at left) : We have a similar sense of humor. He's goofy and doesn't have any of that macho baggage. I get the feeling he'd be good company on a cross-country drive.

Tony Blair: I admire his wit. I like the way he pummels the evil Tory David Cameron on Ask the Prime Minister. If only that damn Cherie weren't in the way.

Nick Cave. Like me, he seems to suffer from a lot of weird religious guilt, which drives his writing and which is at odds with his deliciously oversexed personality. He frequently writes songs that combine sex and church. (Sex and church have been frequent bedfellows in my fiction as well.) Also, his voice is SO deep. A few years ago I saw him on Ocean Beach in San Francisco. He was so tall and stringy and unhealthy looking, like someone just needed to take him home and nurture him. What can I say? I'm a born nurturer to the wayward male.

LloydcoleLloyd Cole (left): Lloyd Cole should love me. I'm not sure why he doesn't (aside from, like, his wife, and the fact that we've never met). We have a lot in common. In addition to being a fabulous rocker (which I'm not, but would like to have been), he has sidelined as a teacher of literature. His songs are full of literary references… as in, "What pale fire I ever had is gone, but you don't want to hear that in a song…"

Steve Forbert: Okay, he's a little old for me, but we both have that Mississippi connection. I once made a request when I saw him play at a little church venue in Noe Valley in San Francisco, only I got the title of the song wrong, and he made fun of me in front of the entire audience, which conssisted of, like 40 people, but I didn't mind, because he was STEVE FORBERT. He looks like an elf, which is appealing.

TunstallKT Tunstall (at left): She's not a boy, she's not even a lesbian, but I still wish she would be my boyfriend.

It now occurs to me that of all the folks I would like to have had for a boyfriend, one is an actor, one is a head of state, and four are musicians. Not one writer in the bunch...I'd say that's fairly healthy!

Julie Kenner's boyfriend list -- hot musical theater men

Manoloscancopy In Julie Kenner's The Manolo Matrix, an aspiring actress turned bodyguard follows a series of clues based on Broadway musicals. So in her SECOND amusing boyfriend list (the first one is very very scary and you can find it here), she made a list of hot musical theater heroes.

Now some of you know that I just finished a first draft of a book about musical theater. So Julie is a girl after my own heart. But where is Skye Masterson, Ms. Kenner? Where is Curly? Where is Don Lockwood?

Anyway. I'm supposed to tell you about Julie's book, not go on and on about cute guys who can tap dance. It's the follow-up to her first chic sleuth story, The Givenchy Code. Different characters, same fashionista mystery glamour.

And now, here's Julie's list, which is very good despite her neglect of Mr. Masterson.

The Broadway Boyfriend List
by Julie Kenner

Sid in The Pajama Game. Harry Connick, Jr. ‘Nuff said.

Matthew Broderick in The Producers. Or, really, in anything. I’ve been crushing since Ferris Bueller

The Baker from Into The Woods. He’s not particularly hot, but, hey, he ends up making a great daddy :)

The Beast from Beauty and the Beast — (left) only, I have to admit I like him better before he changes into a prince!

Anatoly in Chess. Smart and sexy. Sigh.

Melissa Senate's boyfriend list

Melissa Senate is on the GCC with me, and she's the author of See Jane Date, The Solomon Sisters Wise Up, a bunch of other books and now:

A title that good need little pushing. Four bad-breakups push four different people together -- and voila! a club.
I'm all over it.
Bras & Broomsticks author Sarah Mlynowski says Senate "is definitely one of my favorite chick-lit writers. Her books are always feel-good, fast-paced and hilariously funny!"

Senate's debut novel for teens, THEODORA TWIST, comes out in May. It's about an unpopular 16-year-old who goes from invisible to famous when the reigning teen queen of Hollywood stays with her family for the shoot of her reality TV show about being a regular teen (she's not!).

Without more ado, here is Melissa's cringe-worthy list of horrible things her top three worst boyfriends ever said to her.

Horrible Things Top Three Worst Boyfriends Said:
by Melissa Senate

1) “My mother is uncomfortable with our relationship because your brother is married to a Chinese woman.” (We broke up later that day.)

2) Upon being picked up from hospital after minor operation: “I like your hair best when you blow-dry it straight. You like your hair straight. So why’d you leave it curly today?” (Broke up the next day. Hey, I was under anesthesia.)

3) “You know that Seal song, Kiss of the Rose, when he sings: ‘The more I get of you, the stranger it feels?’ That’s exactly how I feel about you.” (Took two more weeks to break up, but I was young.)

Laurie Stolarz's boyfriend list

BluenightmaresLaurie Faria Stolarz is on the GCC with me, and her YA series started with Blue is for Nightmares and is now up to Red is for Remembrance. They're magical thrillers about Stacey Brown, a boarding school girl whose persistent nightmares predict horrors that come true in real life. Only the folk magic she learned from her grandmother can protect her.

Blue is obviously the book to start with, and it was a 2005 Quick Pick for Reluctant Readers and a 2004 Top Ten Teen Pick Nominee. So check out the series if you like a good supernatural thriller.

Anyway. Boys.
What else?

Stolarz very amusingly sent us both a boyfriend list for Stacey, her heroine -- but also one for herself. The latter is (I assume) part dream-world, part reality. Perfect for someone whose novels are all about the blurring of those two spheres.

Stacey Brown’s Boyfriend List:
(from the Blue is for Nightmares series by Laurie Faria Stolarz)

Chad – my first serious crush who also happened to be my best friend’s boyfriend.

PJ – okay, not really, but one night during freshman year, after too much studying and not enough sleep, he was looking kinda cute and we almost kissed - almost.

Jacob – my soul mate. I mean, who else travels across the country to save your life even though he hasn’t even met you yet? I love Jacob and hope things can go back to normal soon.

Tim – after I lost Jacob, my entire universe came crashing down. Tim was there to help pick up the pieces. It didn’t hurt that he was extremely cute, thoughtful, and funny. A gentleman to the core, I’m glad he doesn’t hold a grudge about what happened – or should I say what almost happened – between us.


Laurie Stolarz’s Boyfriend List

John Cusack – I’ve had a serious – serious! – crush on him since The Sure Thing.

Michael Vartan – (left) How much did I want to be Drew Barrymore when Michael Vartan ran across the baseball field to give her a big smooch at the end of Never Been Kissed.

Andy Garcia – This one’s sort of self-explanatory – for me anyway.

Nicolas Cage – There’s just something about him.

Ed Stolarz – My husband and best friend. He’s supportive and keeps me laughing. He reads all my work, helps keep the house clean, and loves me very much.

P.S.Here's Laurie's Blog!

Tanya Lee Stone's Boyfriend List

I asked Tanya Lee Stone, author of A Bad Boy Can Be Good For a Girl to send me a boyfriend list. Because, as you can tell from her book title, she's gotta be like an expert or something.

Her book is getting AWESOME reviews, by the way - School Library Journal said: "This is not a book that will sit quietly on any shelf; it will be passed from girl to girl to girl." And Libba Bray, author of A Great & Terrible Beauty, says it's got "...the kind of tell-it-like-it-is wisdom that comes from your best girlfriends. It's irresistible."

You can learn a lot from this list, people. It's got wedding rings hidden in sock drawers, creepy guys offering rides home, rigged spin-the-bottle games, ugly dresses and the tango. (But: lest you think those teen years were too out of control, Tanya said to tell me this list goes well into her 20s.)

Oh, and Tanya's one of the top secret (not) authors I'll be touring with this April for the release of her book and Fly on the Wall. So if you're a bookstore or a library or a radio show or something in Boston, New York, Raleigh/Durham, Washinton or Philadelphia, you should call up Random House publicity and talk to them about the Teen Voices tour.

by Tanya Lee Stone

Thanks for asking me for a boyfriend list, E! In honor of A Bad Boy Can Be Good for a Girl, I thought I’d look back on some of the bad boys I hated to love.

Where it all Began. Seventh grade. Spin the bottle. The beginning of the end. Tony P. planted one on me and became my designated Spin the Bottle partner for the rest of the year—whenever we could get away with rigging the game, that is. I could never bring myself to talk to him at school, though.

Eighth grade. Even though I wore the ugliest dress you’ve ever seen, my moves won first place in a dance contest. The real prize? Jeff D. asked me out the next day. That boy had moves I didn’t want to know about!

Same year. Brian B. was in my sister’s crowd—a senior. Of course he never looked my way, but a girl can dream.

Now, the years all run together in my brain, but the boys, I remember.

Chuck L. was a very bad boy who I truly did hate, for a while anyway. It took the entire year but somehow, he changed my mind, even though he didn’t get far. Now he hated that!

Bob P. smoke and drank and listened to The Who, what’s a girl to do?

Bob T. said he didn’t have a girlfriend but did. And I believed him—twice.

Bob S. caught me staring at him one day and asked if I needed a ride home. Thank god there was no highway between school and home, because two stop signs later, I hopped out and ran for my life.

I gave up Bobs after that.

Todd Q. cried when I left after visiting him for the weekend. I hated that. Dumped him. Now I know better. Bad boys cry like the rest of us.

Todd S. said he loved me, then told someone else he loved her while I was at my cousin’s wedding.

Chad T. was at my cousin’s wedding. Hey, it’s not like I told him I loved him!

Todd F. said he did have a girlfriend, but an overwhelming thing for me. I believed him—twice.

I gave up Todds after that.

Vlad Z. stole my heart in a foreign country (gee, can you guess which one?). When he showed up to give it back, he wasn’t alone and she wasn’t happy. Neither was I, since her existence was news to me, and about as welcome as a bad bowl of borscht.

Eli P. made all my morning train rides better. Hey, it was a long commute!

Kent O. was a bad boy in a room swarming with models but he only had eyes for me. Apparently, that was enough for me to give him carte blanche to be hideously awful yet forgiven over and over and over again. No worries—I finally wised up, but ladies—it took waaayyy tooooo loooong. Don’t let this happen to you!

Oscar T. knew how to Tango—do I really have to say more? I mean, it is the forbidden dance and all. No, that’s the Lambada. No matter, he knew how to do both extremely well…and that’s all she wrote.

John C. was extremely upfront and honest. Brooding and vulnerable. Sexy and in pain. He spilled his whole heart out to me; all his deepest, darkest secrets. In his defense, he only left one out. Unfortunately, it was that his wedding ring was buried at the bottom of his sock drawer along with his conscience. Thankfully I didn’t get far enough into loving him to, well, love him, love him.

Make it stop! Now I’ve got the one I’m keeping and it’s all good.

Sheila Curran's vile boyfriend list

Sheila Curran is on the GCC with me (Girlfriends Cyber Circuit) and her book is called Diana Lively is Falling Down. It's the story of a talented British architect who builds dollhouses so she can tend to her three children and overbearing husband. Stranded in an unhappy marriage by what she perceives as her children’s best interests, Diana must find a way to reclaim her power while holding fast to duty, honor and housewifely sanity.

It's funny! It's British! You can read an excerpt here.

Jodie Picoult (My Sister's Keeper) called the book "a terrific pick-me up" "with characters who make you laugh out loud even as they break your heart."

Anyway, since the husband in the novel is so completely hate-able, Sheila given us :

The Vile Boyfriend List, or things to watch out for in a potential boyfriend
by Sheila Curran

1) Vehicle has mudflaps with Playboy-Bunnies or confederate flags on them.
2) Has a Frequent Flyer Hooters’ Visa.
3) Owns a Promise Keepers Teeshirt.
4) Under-tips or berates a waitress
5) Is taking Mime classes
6) Talks during the movie, or reveals the ending to anyone who hasn’t seen it.
7) Wears cologne or spats.
8) Appears overly proud of his previous girlfriend’s low body-fat ratio
9) Tells you you’re not like the other American women, who wear too much make-up and expose their flesh to men.
10) Owns or operates a metal detector “just for fun.”

P.S. Check out Sheila's blog!
P.P.S. Click here for the Ritual Dressing of the Lettuce
P.P.P.S. Sheila, are you sure about #6!? I myself have been known to commit this sin.