Contest! Win an ARC of Real Live Boyfriends

October 07, 2010

ENTER THIS CONTEST!

My publisher, Random House, is giving away ten ARCs (advance reading copies) of the fourth Ruby Oliver book, REAL LIVE BOYFRIENDS.  The book itself comes out December 28, 2010, but you can read it now if you win a copy in the contest.

Also: My website is finished!  (Except the "fun" page. Which does have fun on it, but doesn't LOOK fun yet.)  Edited to add: The Fun page is finished now. It is loads and loads of fun!  All new website awesomeness created by Alan Lastufka. Thanks, Alan!

MORE ALSO: the updated website means you can finally find out all about Real Live Boyfriends, and read a preview.

Here's how to enter the contest to read the whole thing. 

In The Boy Book, book 2 of the Ruby series, Roo and her friends make lists. Here are two examples, and pay attention! Because to enter the contest, you have to write either 

1. a translation of boy-speak or
2. a clever comeback to a catcall and post it two places!

Here are the two places you post it.

1. your Twitter feed, Facebook page or blog or anything else public, with the hashtag #RubyOliverBooks if on Twitter. Give a shortie explanation of the reason you're doing it if there's room -- because after all, we (me and Random House) want to spread the word about the Ruby books, which are all out in pretty new paperback jackets and easy to find in nearly any bookshop. My eternal gratitude if you link to the website page about the new book....
2. post it again in the comments here with a link if possible, so I know you did it! 

Deadline: Thursday night, October 14, midnight!  Then check back on the blog on Monday Oct 17 to find out the winners.  

So, to recap. Write either a Translation of Boy-Speak or a Clever Comeback to a Catcall (see Ruby Oliver's examples, below). Post your entry in public and in the comments here by Oct 14 midnight. Maybe win a copy of Real Live Boyfriends, months before it comes out! 

And even if you don't, you will benefit humanity with your entry.

xo

E 

FROM THE BOY BOOK:

Boy-Speak: Introuction to a Foreign Language

What he says: I never felt this way before.
 What is understood: He loves me!
 What he means: Can we get to the nether regions, now?

What he says: I'll call you.
 What is understood: He'll call me.
 What he means: I don't want to see you again.

 What he says: It's not you, it's me.
 What is understood: He's got some meaningful problem going on in his life that's blocking him from being anyone's boyfriend, even mine, though he likes me so much.
 What he means: I like someone else.

 What he says: We're just really good friends.
 What is understood: Nothing is going on between him and that other girl.
 What he means: We have a flirtation, but I don't want you to bug me.

 What he says: I'm so messed up.
 What is understood: He needs my support and help.
 What he means: I want you to leave me alone.


Also from THE BOY BOOK.  Clever Comebacks to Catcalls -- ie. things to say when someone makes a lewd, rude comment to you, in school or on the street.

1) 

  1. Join the 21st Century.

  2. Try to imagine how little I care.

  3. Have you had your brain checked? I think the warranty has run out.

  4.  I can't get angry at you, today. It's 'Be Kind to Animals Week'.

  5.  Didn't I dissect you in Biology class?

  6.  Did you take your medication today?

  7.  I'll try smiling--if you try being smarter.

  8.  I'm curious, did your mother raise all of her children to be sexists, or did she single you out?

And some extras, for specific situations:  
 

If he says, "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy," then you say, "If I could see you naked, I'd die laughing."
 

And if he says, "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Answer, "Do not enter."
 

And if he calls down the street as you ignore him, "Hey baby, don't be rude!" Reply, "I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant."
 

And if he says, "Can I see you sometime?" Say, "How about never? Is never good for you?"

  

Posted at 10:04 AM in Book Publishing News, Fun Stuff: Surveys, Quizzes and other Ridiculousness | | Comments (38)

Contest Winners!

August 02, 2010

You all are awesomely awesome. The contest entries made me laugh and cry. (See many of them on twitter at #RubyOliverBooks.)

I am sad we could only pick ten winners, because there wasn't a bad one in the bunch.  And thanks for sharing the love and excitement about the new look for the Ruby Oliver books.

Here are the contest winners!  If you won, email me TODAY IF POSSIBLE  at elockhart @ earthlink.net  (without spaces) and put the word CONTEST as your subject line.  Just email me your snail mail address and I will send you a book!  If you are under 18, please check with your parental units and guardians before sending your info off to even a benevolent stranger such as me. 

Also please try to send that email before 11:30 am tomorrow (Tuesday) because that is when the wonderful and lovely Tricia is here to help me mail out books. 

I will assume you want the hardcover Dramarama unless you tell me you want a different book.

xo

E



WINNERS! 

Natalie: 8th grade. Boy: Will you be my girlfriend? Me: Why? I barely know you. Boy: *stares at my boobs* I said no, by the way.

Genevieve: Summer before 8th grade, I go to the movies with an older boy instead of my group of girlfriends like I told my parents. My dad apparently realized I was lying, and to teach me a lesson, came in and sat down next to me halfway through the movie just as cute older boy was about to go in for the kiss. Majorly humiliated, cute boy never called again.

Karl: I once sang the Police song "Can't Stand Losing You" to a girl's answering machine. A cappella.

Noelle: 7th grade: Had a crush on my neighbor. We meet at lockers, I back up, putting dog poo from my shoe onto his binder

Lee: age13. boy dumps me because i was too nice. i burned the jacket he gave me then mailed it to him.

Amanda: 1st bf-1st kiss with said bf, his response...so is that your first kiss or what? I dieeed. Obvs a very smooth operator

Valia: Never had a bf. Fell in serious like with my best friend. He promised me the world. Three months later, I found out from his facebook status that he moved to Hawaii. Is it wrong to want to slap him? lol

Anju: I really liked him... But I was too shy to tell him how I felt. So I wrote crazy stalker "I love you" poetry and shoved it in his locker anonymously.
 He found out I wrote them 
 and
 I haven't looked at him since

Jenna: 8th grade. Spring Break. First real kiss interrupted by parents and campers. Literally picked us up and separated us.

Joanna: I once got dumped because I was taking away from my boyfriend's world of Warcraft raiding schedule

YOU ALL ARE AMAZING.  Email me!


Posted at 11:28 AM in Book Publishing News, Fun Stuff: Surveys, Quizzes and other Ridiculousness | | Comments (0)

Ask Ruby

August 02, 2009

The Ask Ruby feature on Random Buzzers got great response, so they extended it. Until August 30, you can anonymously ask Roo any question you like -- and then check back to see if she picked yours to answer. 

Here's where you ask (after logging into Random Buzzers):  Ask Ruby

And go here to see the forum where the answers are posted, including all Roo's advice to the lovelorn -- keeping in mind, of course, that she's only 17, possibly mental, a leper, and spends most of her time in the state of noboyfriend.


Reminder from the department of self-aggrandizement and promotion:  The Treasure Map of Boys is in your local bookstore now. Plus a good-looking re-issue of Fly on the Wall, which is my raciest book ever. (Don't tell your folks.)

Posted at 09:03 AM in Fun Stuff: Surveys, Quizzes and other Ridiculousness |

Winner!

July 08, 2009

We have a winner and her name is Amanda! Thanks all you guys for sending in your answers to the questions. Amanda, I'll put a package in the mail to you tomorrow if you send me your snail mail address!

1. What is the full name of the guy who does the single-boob-grope in the movie theater? 
Shep Cabot
2.  What does Jackson Clarke like to eat on french fries?
He'll eat ketchup, but what he really likes is mayo.
3. What are Nancy Drews?
Affirmations of personal strengths -- in other words, things Ruby is good at.
4. What is a thing you should NOT wear if you are going to be making out with someone?
Many answers to this one, including red lipstick, a dress, and a back-close bra.
5. What does Ruby suggest you say to a catcaller who says, "Baby, can I see you sometime?"
"How about never? Is never good for you?"

The Treasure Map of Boys goes on sale either July 25th OR the 28th. Different places say different things. 
At the same time, most bookstores will be stocking the NEW Fly on the Wall paperback, which looks infinitely cooler than the old one. 


 

FLYsuperheroFINAL2

Posted at 08:19 PM in Fun Stuff: Surveys, Quizzes and other Ridiculousness |

Contest: Win an ARC of Treasure Map

July 07, 2009

A QUICKIE contest! 

Because I have to leave for ALA on Saturday, and if I don't get to the post office before then, I never will.

So: I am giving out a shiny copy of Roo3, aka The Treasure Map of Boys, being the continuing debacles of Ruby Oliver, the nefarious flirtations of Jackson, the mysterious behavior of Noel and the villainy of Ariel Olivieri. 

Along with the ARC you get a basset hound t-shirt  made by Theo Black, plus I have some audiobooks and other goodies taking up space on my shelf, so I will throw in a MYSTERY BONUS. 

Here's what you do: 
Answer the questions below -- all trivia from The Boyfriend List and The Boy Book.
Email me your response at elockhart @ earthlink.net.
Put CONTEST in the subject line so I know what I'm getting.
First person to get all correct wins 
Simple simple. 
Contest ends Wednesday night at midnight, NYC time.
I'll email winners and blog about it. 

QUESTIONS

1. What is the full name of the guy who does the single-boob-grope in the movie theater? 
2.  What does Jackson Clarke like to eat on french fries?
3. What are Nancy Drews?
4. What is a thing you should NOT wear if you are going to be making out with someone?
5. What does Ruby suggest you say to a catcaller who says, "Baby, can I see you sometime?"

That's it! 
Have fun.

E. Lockhart



Posted at 10:23 PM in Fun Stuff: Surveys, Quizzes and other Ridiculousness |

Book Maven Meme

March 26, 2009

It has been a while since I've done a meme!  (Okay. Not that long. but hey. I am procrastinating!)

Here is the "Book Maven" meme. Repost and answer! (If it amuses you.)

1) What author do you own the most books by?
Charles Dickens. For my grad school orals, I read 9 Dickens novels in a single summer.

2) What book do you own the most copies of?
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. I own several beautifully illustrated editions. 

3) Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions?
No. But I noticed it. 

4) What fictional character are you secretly in love with?
I am NOT in love with Edward Cullen. I can tell you that. I have no interest in any guy who speeds on the freeway when another person asks him to slow down, or watches someone sleep when she tells him not to. That is seriously creepy. Also: my idea of a lover is not someone who is better looking than me, 100 years more experienced than me,  better educated and with super powers. My idea of a lover is someone who is genuinely an equal. 

5) What book have you read the most times in your life (excluding picture books read to children; i.e., Goodnight Moon does not count)?
Pride and Prejudice. 

6) What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?
I tried to organize a fifth grade production of Peter Pan, from Barrie's original script. 

7) What is the worst book you've read in the past year?
I didn't finish it and I'm not going to slag it here. 

8) What is the best book you've read in the past year?
The Yiddish Policeman's Union by Michael Chabon. 

9) If you could force everyone you tagged to read one book, what would it be?
David Copperfield. It is freaking awesome and hilarious and emotional and outrageous. But I am not tagging anyone, specifically. And it is, like 800 pages. 

10) Who deserves to win the next Nobel Prize for Literature?
Can dead people win? Iris Murdoch. 

11) What book would you most like to see made into a movie?
I would stand on line for The Alienist. The book is by Caleb Carr. 
I wouldn't mind The Secret History, either. Book by Donna Tartt. 
But really? They will never make it, ever. But Geek Love, by Katherine Dunn. 

12) What book would you least like to see made into a movie? 
Oh, they are doing that all the time. I don't need to tell you.
I am enjoying the posters for the Nora Roberts series on TV. I will tell you that. 
Jerry O'Connell. Shirtless and sincere!  
(I have never read Nora Roberts. Her books may be awesomeness incarnate. But hello!  To the posters!)

13) Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.
I have many but most of them I no longer recall.
Last week, I dreamed I went to a community theater production of Twilight. Edward was played by a replacement actor. He was 35 and balding, but did a good job. The production had been running so long there were only a few people in the theater. I was writing an article on it for some internet magazine. 
During pauses in the action, the actors occasionally broke character to chat with the audience. The girl playing Bella was applying to colleges and asked my advice. Afterward, I saw the Edward actor at the bus stop. We chatted a little. It was only then that I saw he was bald. He wore a hat when he was being Edward. 
Analyze as you will. 
I know you probably have a lot to say....

14) What is the most lowbrow book you've read as an adult?
Well. I just checked out YUM-O by Rachel Ray from the library. 

15) What is the most difficult book you've ever read?
I have read Moby Dick. I have read most of Gravity's Rainbow. I have read The Waves. 
I am glad I am not in graduate school any more.

16) What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you've seen?
Hm. I have seen a fair amount of Shakespeare but nothing particularly obscure, I don't think. I've seen multiple Tempests, multiple Midsummers, a few Macbeths, Hamlet, Merchant, Winter's Tale, -- oh, I know!
I saw this all rap version of A Comedy of Errors. It had only four people in it. It was FAB.

17) Do you prefer the French or the Russians?
I cannot generalize. I like Rousseau. I don't much care for Stendahl. 
I like Chekov. Tolstoy is kinda meh. 

18) Roth or Updike?
Men concerned with manly manly things. 
Like those in the next several questions (until 21). 
But Roth. Because he wrote a book where someone is turned into a GIANT BREAST. And the book is from his (its) point of view! 

19) David Sedaris or Dave Eggers?
Sedaris.
I love that guy. 
THe essay about the boil in When You are Engulfed in Flames is so brilliant and touching. Also the one about his old lady neighbor. And the one about getting lost in the zoo and being unable to find Hugh. 
He is really a master essayist. Not just funny. 

20) Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer?
Shakespeare.

21) Austen or Eliot?
Austen. But I like Eliot, too. I just, you know, SUFFERED through Adam Bede, so I am not sure I forgive her. 
Austen never, ever, ever, makes anyone suffer for even a minute. She is sheer joy. 

22) What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?
I have a doctorate in English literature and have never read Ulysses. 

23) What is your favorite novel? 
I can really only answer this moment to moment. I have new favorites all the time.  But I will mention a book I haven't mentioned in this Q&A so far, that I loved dearly and wish more people would read: The Spell Book of Listen Taylor, by Jaclyn Moriarty. 

24) Play?
I am most influenced by Dark Ride, by Len Jenkin. 

25) Poem?
Stuff by Ogden Nash. 

26) Essay?
"A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again," by David Foster Wallace. But also see the Eggers/Sedaris answer, above. 

27) Short Story?
"Uncle Fred Flits By" by PG Wodehouse is pretty awesome. 

28) Work of nonfiction?
I was very influenced by The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf and I think anyone under the age of 40 should read it. But my favorite is An Anthropologist on Mars by Oliver Sacks. 

29) Who is your favorite writer?
I can't pick. All those mentioned above thrill me. Also Michael Chabon. Francesca Lia Block. Edith Wharton. E.M Forster. I could go on and on.

30) Who is the most overrated writer alive today?
Am I really going to get that snarky? I probably haven't read him. 

31) What is your desert island book?
The Jeeves Omnibus, by P.G. Wodehouse. 

32) And... what are you reading right now?
Population 485 by Michael Perry.  Rumpole Rests His Case by John Mortimer. A couple back issues of Gourmet. The issue of Entertainment Weekly with Paul Rudd on the cover. Maryrose Wood's new book in manuscript. Dirty Sugar Cookies by Ayun Halliday.  The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. 
I like to have a lot of things in rotation....

Posted at 09:46 PM in Fun Stuff: Surveys, Quizzes and other Ridiculousness | | Comments (5)

Contest Winners!

February 17, 2009
Stories of deep embarassment.  
LOL monkeys and cats. A strange Japanese game show.  
Hugh Laurie and Hank Green, both at their finest.  
Donut demise. Knock knock jokes. People eating food off the floor. Lessons on how to be Ninja and how to be Nerd! 
Hamsters in helmets.
Many Twlight spoofs. (Funny but um....dare I say, not a difficult target?)
Cute kids. Sad stories of stupidity.  A cheeseburger bed. Obama dancing and hitting cats with snowballs, 
Clips from Friends, Ellen, The Soup, etc.
Laughtastic goodness.
All these can be yours by paging through the contest entries!


Below are the five things that really REALLY made me laugh -- though most every single entry brightened my day. 


Elena for The Engineer's Guide to Cats

I put those names in a hat and came up with Nerissa and Dee. THE WINNERS! 
So you two, please send me an email at elockhart @earthlink.net and tell me what book you want and your address.  Do NOT post this info on the internet! Also, if you are under 15, have your parent drop me an email before you give out any personal info and wait for me to write that parent back.  

Thanks so much for all the entries.  


 


Posted at 02:03 PM in Fun Stuff: Surveys, Quizzes and other Ridiculousness |

Make me laugh, win some stuff

January 28, 2009
IMG_0095 1. My awesome web designer, Theo Black, made me two cool Disreputable History t-shirts with the insignia of The Loyal Order.

2. I have a stack of Dramarama audiobooks, hot off the presses and read by a real live Broadway star. 
  
3. So:  I am having a contest!  A super easy contest that will last until MIDNIGHT FEBRUARY 14th, after which there will be two winners!

Each person will get a signed book of their choice (except Disreputable. I have no copies of that --  I gave them all away);  a Dramarama CD (or CD with mp3);  and a shirt. 

Here's all that's required. 
Make me laugh.  
IN THE COMMENTS TO THIS POST ONLY, tell me a joke or something that happened to you. Or point me to a link, or post an LOLcat. I am really pretty easy to please. Just nothing inappropriate for the readers of this blog who are YOUNG PERSONS, thank you very much. Filthy jokes make me laugh as much as the next girl --- but I need them left off this blog. 

If I laugh, your name will be entered into a drawing and there will be two selected at random from the piles of amusing items.  

I have no idea if anyone will enter. Maybe no one will. Maybe the long winter will sap you all of your amusing anecdotes, or maybe anyone who reads this blog already owns the Dramarama audio. 

But if people do enter, comments area will be just a festival of amusing amusing tidbits that can make every blog visitor have a better day. Eh? And two people will get Theo's awesome t-shirts plus some free Lockhartian reading experiences. 

Below, proof of how easy it is to make me laugh. 

xo
E

funny pictures of cats with captions

Posted at 09:25 PM in Fun Stuff: Surveys, Quizzes and other Ridiculousness | | Comments (109)

Previous Next