So it turns out that according to one torrent website, Real Live Boyfriends had been illegally downloaded over 6,500 times when it had been out only 4 weeks. People, if I was selling 1,625 copies a week, my publisher would be very happy. I would be very happy. The books would be selling well, and my publisher would be more likely to have me write more of them.
If they don't sell, my publisher doesn't want more of them. Or any of them. The bookshops stop stocking them and they go out of print.
If you like my books enough to want to read the new one the month it comes out, please buy it. If you're short on money, get it from your library. The downloading is not only illegal, it is cheating the author, the publisher and the bookshop out of getting paid for something you want. Something that is cheaper than a movie! Something you can lend to your friends for free! Think about it: you and all your pals can read Real Live Boyfriends for less that $12. If you all went to a movie in 3D, it could rack up well over $50.
Again, if you want a free book, there is a legal way to get it. Library.
But hey, that doesn't mean I think other people shouldn't. That's the whole point of the argument here. People don't need to be protected against literature. The flap copy tells them what the book is about. They can close books if they don't like them. Parents can say, "no, not till you're older."
Now on the lighter side, youtube sensation Parry Gripp (of the nom nom nom hamster video etc.) wrote my friend the writer Maureen Johnson (Thirteen Little Blue Envelopes, Girl at Sea, Suite Scarlett etc.) a theme song -- and here's the video. It was the nicest thing that happened to me yesterday, watching this.
The Department of Self-Aggrandizement requests that I inform you my latest book, REAL LIVE BOYFRIENDS, comes out today (Dec 28). Woot! Read all about it here. Or read a sneak preview bit here.
“This hilarious novel [is] narrated in Ruby’s perfectly executed teenspeak and littered with her manic lists….Like, really recommended.” — Kirkus Reviews
“Everyone’s favorite neurotic, prone-to-panic high-school student is back…Fans of the series will clamor for Ruby’s latest adventure.” — Booklist
Okay, enough about that. Did you all have a good Christmas, if you celebrate? We are snowed in, here. There is a lot of baking going on (cranberry-orange loaf cake this morning) and sledding and watching of movies (Back to the Future really holds up.)
It is nice to be on vacation, but I miss writing. A bit. I have revisions to do on a book starting in early January, and right after that I have to start the next one.
Happy New Year, all! Most years since 2004 I do this year-end meme. Here's the 2004 one. It's interesting to look back and see what's changed. If you feel like it, post yours in the comments!
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I can't remember if I made one. I think I am going to resolve to do yoga for 20 mins 3x a week. I have done this before and it makes me feel very good. But haven't done it in a year or so.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes! Shout out to baby Dante.
4. Did anyone close to you die? No.
5. What countries did you visit? I was a local girl. But I went to Florida a lot.
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010? A full-night's sleep -- regularly.
7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Today! My book birthday for Real Live Boyfriends.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I finally got my hair the color I like it.
9. What was your biggest failure? There is a project I really wanted to work on, and I couldn't get myself considered for it. I tried, but maybe there are avenues I could have pursued, but didn't.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? No. I'm tremendously lucky.
11. What was the best thing you bought? An apartment.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My pal Maryrose Wood gave me some really great advice.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Factory farming of animals upsets me greatly.
14. Where did most of your money go? To the tax man. Then health insurance. Then my agent. Self-employment isn't easy on the wallet.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Amanda Palmer.
16. What song will always remind you of 2010? See Leeds Utd. video, above.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: - happier or sadder? same - richer or poorer? poorer (bought apartment though!) - thinner or fatter? same
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Yoga. I answer this almost every year. I need to just shut up and do it.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Paperwork.
20. How did you spend the holidays? Entertaining. Dinner for 14!
21. Did you fall in love in 2010? Same old love. Is good.
22. How many one-night stands? This Q&A is otherwise g-rated. I hate this question. None!
23. What was your favorite TV program? Sherlock.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? No.
25. What was the best book you read? The Magicians by Lev Grossman.
26. What was your favorite film of this year? I saw almost nothing. But I really loved How to Train Your Dragon. Toothless forevah!
27. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010? Bohemian Kate Hepburn
28 Whom did you miss? My 95 year-old grandmother.
29. Who was the best new person you met? I got to hang out with Carrie Ryan at a conference and she is awesome.
30. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010. When saying No to someone, think to yourself what the thing is that YOU are saying yes to. Saying Yes, to more free time in your schedule, saying yes to more time with your family, saying yes to something.
The entries for the Real Live Boyfriends ARC contest were awesome. You guys are HILARIOUS. Plus very cynical about the opposite sex -- and able to snap the best comebacks ever. Beware, skeevy guys scoping ladies on the street! We know what to say to you, now!
Anyway, thank you all for entering. It was great fun for me to read them all, and I'm so glad you're psyched for the book (which comes out Dec. 28 -- and make sure you've read Treasure Map of Boys before then!)
And here are the winners! There are ten, since that's how many ARCs my publisher has to send out. I am sorry to say that my they can't ship out of the USA, so alas, Canadian and UK entries, and any other foreign climes -- you could not be considered. My error for not making that clear.
Clever comebacks to catcalls:
Jen, for: "Oh, I'm sorry but NEXT week is 'be nice to losers' week. Catch me then!"
Tina for: "Save your breath, you're going to need it to blow up your date."
VLSimplicity for: "I'm sorry, what? I was distracted by that mask you’re wearing."
Sam M for: He says: Hey Honey, how did a pretty thing like you break your ankle? Answer: Kicking Dumbasses. You should leave before I break my other ankle
Dea, for: What he says: I like that shirt on you. What's understood: It makes me look thinner! He means: Your boobs are looking amazing!
MsMikado for: He says: You are really funny. You Hear: I like you. He means: I date hotter girls.
Makena for: Boy: lets c where we r in a few months Girl thinks: he still wants 2 date me! Boy really means: not interested
Sab H. for: What he says: She's just a friend. What is understood: He's lying. What he means: She's way out of my league, I tried.
RamblingQuasi/Rachel Stupendous for: what he says: i've never met anyone who thinks the way you do. what she thinks he means: he really understands me and loves me for who i am!what he means: this girl is CRAZY! maybe if i back away slowly she won't notice....
If you won, send your SNAIL MAIL address in an email to me at elockhart at earthlink.net. If you are under 18, please ask your parents before doing this! Is not a good idea to send your info to strangers without checking with them, even benevolent un-crazy strangers like myself.
I will forward your addy to my publicist, the charming Jessica, and she will send you an Advance Readers Copy! Please do this by October 23!! So we can be organized.
Happy Halloween! (soon) This vid is research for me. I swear! I am not procrastinating when I'm supposed to be writing. I am writing about the pumpkins! For serious. (Hi, Donna.) Anyway, it was too awesome not to share.