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A poem-ish thing from The Boy Book

Scott Westerfeld wrote a poem consisting of the first lines of each chapter of his new book THE LAST DAYS on his blog. Are you so excited? It is the sequel to PEEPS. Which kept me up all night, really.
And made me a little bit scared of my cat, too.
Anyway, I figure if a girl can't write like Scott, she can market her book like him, so here, ripped off from Westerfeld with utmost admiration and appreciation, is a poem-ish thing of the first lines of the chapters of THE BOY BOOK. There is even a tiny spoiler!

The Boy Book is the sequel to The Boyfriend List, and all of these first lines come from entries in the joint journal Roo kept with Kim, Cricket and Nora from 8th grade through Sophomore year, with some additions added in junior year.

If you jiggle, wear a bra.
Don't kiss in the refectory, or any other small, enclosed space.
We are your friends and everything is our business!
A shirt that buttons up the front, for obvious reasons.
For future citizens of the planet
who may find this book on an archeological dig and have no idea what we're talking about,
scamming is physical contact of a relatively advanced nature
between two consenting teenagers who are not going out,
and who probably never will go out,
and who are just entertaining each other
at a party
or whatever.
It has come to our attention here at The Boy Book that
telephone conversations with members of
the opposite sex
are largely painful and awkward.
What he says: I never felt this way before.
Situation: You are walking down the hall,
and someone tells you he's so ready for that
Fact: I like Angelo more now that I can't have him.
Dear Kaptain Kangaroo,
I gave a boy named Billy my number at a party after he kissed me.
We are prettier.
Nancy Drews.

The Boy Book comes out Sept 26, 2006.