Via Sarah Dessen's Twitter feed and apropos of The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks: Basset Hounds in action!
So, maybe you don't know this yet, or maybe you do, but I write books under another name. For younger kids.
This is the trailer for my new book that comes out in April! Invisible Inkling, with pictures by NYTimes best-selling illustrator, Harry Bliss.
I encourage you to watch it, share it, link to it, etc. and most importantly, for teachers and librarians, to use it to booktalk Inkling with your kids.
Those of you who have no interest in books for younger readers, ignore this post. As you were.
Or, you can just watch the video anyway and wonder why I don't get my bangs trimmed and why I am wearing a Hufflepuff scarf (trivia: Judy Blundell has the same one!).
So it turns out that according to one torrent website, Real Live Boyfriends had been illegally downloaded over 6,500 times when it had been out only 4 weeks. People, if I was selling 1,625 copies a week, my publisher would be very happy. I would be very happy. The books would be selling well, and my publisher would be more likely to have me write more of them.
If they don't sell, my publisher doesn't want more of them. Or any of them. The bookshops stop stocking them and they go out of print.
If you like my books enough to want to read the new one the month it comes out, please buy it. If you're short on money, get it from your library. The downloading is not only illegal, it is cheating the author, the publisher and the bookshop out of getting paid for something you want. Something that is cheaper than a movie! Something you can lend to your friends for free! Think about it: you and all your pals can read Real Live Boyfriends for less that $12. If you all went to a movie in 3D, it could rack up well over $50.
Again, if you want a free book, there is a legal way to get it. Library.
On another note: check out the unbelievable kerfuffle over Bitch Magazine's list of 100 YA books for the feminist reader. The list is a useful list, still, for librarians and teachers -- and parents, too. It ranges from middle-grade to upper-YA, so there are books appropriate for 8 year olds on there, and books I am scared to read myself.
But hey, that doesn't mean I think other people shouldn't. That's the whole point of the argument here. People don't need to be protected against literature. The flap copy tells them what the book is about. They can close books if they don't like them. Parents can say, "no, not till you're older."
Anyway, my pal and the awesome author of Uglies and Midnighters and Peeps, Scott Westerfeld -- he wrote a very intelligent response to the whole Bitch Magazine comments throwdown. And here is Margo Lanagan's response to the removal of her Printz honor book, Tender Morsels, from the list.
Another interesting thing is to read Karen Healy's alternate list (which I am on six times!).
Now on the lighter side, youtube sensation Parry Gripp (of the nom nom nom hamster video etc.) wrote my friend the writer Maureen Johnson (Thirteen Little Blue Envelopes, Girl at Sea, Suite Scarlett etc.) a theme song -- and here's the video. It was the nicest thing that happened to me yesterday, watching this.
Some of you have been asking about Ruby and Frankie merchandise -- and now, in celebration of REAL LIVE BOYFRIENDS being finally in stores, there's a Zazzle store where you can buy "Ag" shirts, Loyal Order buttons, and Robespierre mugs.
Comments are open -- and if there's anything you especially like, or anything you want to see, let me know.
“This hilarious novel [is] narrated in Ruby’s perfectly executed teenspeak and littered with her manic lists….Like, really recommended.” — Kirkus Reviews
“Everyone’s favorite neurotic, prone-to-panic high-school student is back…Fans of the series will clamor for Ruby’s latest adventure.” — Booklist
Okay, enough about that. Did you all have a good Christmas, if you celebrate? We are snowed in, here. There is a lot of baking going on (cranberry-orange loaf cake this morning) and sledding and watching of movies (Back to the Future really holds up.)
It is nice to be on vacation, but I miss writing. A bit. I have revisions to do on a book starting in early January, and right after that I have to start the next one.
Happy New Year, all! Most years since 2004 I do this year-end meme. Here's the 2004 one. It's interesting to look back and see what's changed. If you feel like it, post yours in the comments!
YEAR-END SURVEY 2010
1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
I went to Walmart.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I can't remember if I made one. I think I am going to resolve to do yoga for 20 mins 3x a week. I have done this before and it makes me feel very good. But haven't done it in a year or so.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes! Shout out to baby Dante.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
5. What countries did you visit?
I was a local girl. But I went to Florida a lot.
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
A full-night's sleep -- regularly.
7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Today! My book birthday for Real Live Boyfriends.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I finally got my hair the color I like it.
9. What was your biggest failure?
There is a project I really wanted to work on, and I couldn't get myself considered for it. I tried, but maybe there are avenues I could have pursued, but didn't.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No. I'm tremendously lucky.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My pal Maryrose Wood gave me some really great advice.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Factory farming of animals upsets me greatly.
14. Where did most of your money go?
To the tax man. Then health insurance. Then my agent. Self-employment isn't easy on the wallet.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
See Leeds Utd. video, above.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
- happier or sadder? same
- richer or poorer? poorer (bought apartment though!)
- thinner or fatter? same
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Yoga. I answer this almost every year. I need to just shut up and do it.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
20. How did you spend the holidays?
Entertaining. Dinner for 14!
21. Did you fall in love in 2010?
Same old love. Is good.
22. How many one-night stands?
This Q&A is otherwise g-rated. I hate this question. None!
23. What was your favorite TV program?
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
25. What was the best book you read?
The Magicians by Lev Grossman.
26. What was your favorite film of this year?
I saw almost nothing. But I really loved How to Train Your Dragon. Toothless forevah!
27. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Bohemian Kate Hepburn
28 Whom did you miss?
My 95 year-old grandmother.
29. Who was the best new person you met?
I got to hang out with Carrie Ryan at a conference and she is awesome.
30. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
When saying No to someone, think to yourself what the thing is that YOU are saying yes to. Saying Yes, to more free time in your schedule, saying yes to more time with your family, saying yes to something.
The entries for the Real Live Boyfriends ARC contest were awesome. You guys are HILARIOUS. Plus very cynical about the opposite sex -- and able to snap the best comebacks ever. Beware, skeevy guys scoping ladies on the street! We know what to say to you, now!
Anyway, thank you all for entering. It was great fun for me to read them all, and I'm so glad you're psyched for the book (which comes out Dec. 28 -- and make sure you've read Treasure Map of Boys before then!)
And here are the winners! There are ten, since that's how many ARCs my publisher has to send out. I am sorry to say that my they can't ship out of the USA, so alas, Canadian and UK entries, and any other foreign climes -- you could not be considered. My error for not making that clear.
Clever comebacks to catcalls:
"Oh, I'm sorry but NEXT week is 'be nice to losers' week. Catch me then!"
"Save your breath, you're going to need it to blow up your date."
"I'm sorry, what? I was distracted by that mask you’re wearing."
Sam M for:
He says: Hey Honey, how did a pretty thing like you break your ankle?
Answer: Kicking Dumbasses. You should leave before I break my other ankle
What he says: I like that shirt on you.
What's understood: It makes me look thinner!
He means: Your boobs are looking amazing!
He says: You are really funny.
You Hear: I like you.
He means: I date hotter girls.
Boy: lets c where we r in a few months
Girl thinks: he still wants 2 date me!
Boy really means: not interested
Sab H. for:
What he says: She's just a friend.
What is understood: He's lying.
What he means: She's way out of my league, I tried.
RamblingQuasi/Rachel Stupendous for:
what he says: i've never met anyone who thinks the way you do.
what she thinks he means: he really understands me and loves me for who i am!what he means: this girl is CRAZY! maybe if i back away slowly she won't notice....
If you won, send your SNAIL MAIL address in an email to me at elockhart at earthlink.net. If you are under 18, please ask your parents before doing this! Is not a good idea to send your info to strangers without checking with them, even benevolent un-crazy strangers like myself.
I will forward your addy to my publicist, the charming Jessica, and she will send you an Advance Readers Copy! Please do this by October 23!! So we can be organized.
Thanks again for entering. You guys are great.
xxxxoo E. Lockhart
Happy Halloween! (soon) This vid is research for me. I swear! I am not procrastinating when I'm supposed to be writing. I am writing about the pumpkins! For serious. (Hi, Donna.) Anyway, it was too awesome not to share.
ENTER THIS CONTEST!
My publisher, Random House, is giving away ten ARCs (advance reading copies) of the fourth Ruby Oliver book, REAL LIVE BOYFRIENDS. The book itself comes out December 28, 2010, but you can read it now if you win a copy in the contest.
Also: My website is finished! (Except the "fun" page. Which does have fun on it, but doesn't LOOK fun yet.) Edited to add: The Fun page is finished now. It is loads and loads of fun! All new website awesomeness created by Alan Lastufka. Thanks, Alan!
Here's how to enter the contest to read the whole thing.
In The Boy Book, book 2 of the Ruby series, Roo and her friends make lists. Here are two examples, and pay attention! Because to enter the contest, you have to write either
1. a translation of boy-speak or
2. a clever comeback to a catcall and post it two places!
Here are the two places you post it.
1. your Twitter feed, Facebook page or blog or anything else public, with the hashtag #RubyOliverBooks if on Twitter. Give a shortie explanation of the reason you're doing it if there's room -- because after all, we (me and Random House) want to spread the word about the Ruby books, which are all out in pretty new paperback jackets and easy to find in nearly any bookshop. My eternal gratitude if you link to the website page about the new book....
2. post it again in the comments here with a link if possible, so I know you did it!
Deadline: Thursday night, October 14, midnight! Then check back on the blog on Monday Oct 17 to find out the winners.
So, to recap. Write either a Translation of Boy-Speak or a Clever Comeback to a Catcall (see Ruby Oliver's examples, below). Post your entry in public and in the comments here by Oct 14 midnight. Maybe win a copy of Real Live Boyfriends, months before it comes out!
And even if you don't, you will benefit humanity with your entry.
FROM THE BOY BOOK:
Boy-Speak: Introuction to a Foreign Language
Also from THE BOY BOOK. Clever Comebacks to Catcalls -- ie. things to say when someone makes a lewd, rude comment to you, in school or on the street.
What he says: I never felt this way before.
What is understood: He loves me!
What he means: Can we get to the nether regions, now?
What he says: I'll call you.
What is understood: He'll call me.
What he means: I don't want to see you again.
What he says: It's not you, it's me.
What is understood: He's got some meaningful problem going on in his life that's blocking him from being anyone's boyfriend, even mine, though he likes me so much.
What he means: I like someone else.
What he says: We're just really good friends.
What is understood: Nothing is going on between him and that other girl.
What he means: We have a flirtation, but I don't want you to bug me.
What he says: I'm so messed up.
What is understood: He needs my support and help.
What he means: I want you to leave me alone.
Join the 21st Century.
Try to imagine how little I care.
Have you had your brain checked? I think the warranty has run out.
I can't get angry at you, today. It's 'Be Kind to Animals Week'.
Didn't I dissect you in Biology class?
Did you take your medication today?
I'll try smiling--if you try being smarter.
I'm curious, did your mother raise all of her children to be sexists, or did she single you out?
some extras, for specific situations:
If he says, "If I could see you naked, I'd die
happy," then you say, "If I could see you naked, I'd die
And if he says, "Hey, baby, what's your
sign?" Answer, "Do not enter."
And if he calls down the street as you ignore him,
"Hey baby, don't be rude!" Reply, "I'm not being rude. You're
And if he says, "Can I see you sometime?" Say, "How about never? Is never good for you?"