E. Lockhart's Blog: Make me laugh, win some stuff

YA Authors on the Web

Alex Sanchez
(who wrote Rainbow Boys, etc.)
Amy Kaye
(who wrote The Real Deal)
Andrew Auseon
(who wrote Funny Little Monkey)
Bennett Madison
(who wrote Lulu Dark and The Blonde of the Joke)
Brent Hartinger
(who wrote Geography Club, The Royal Order of the Poison Oak, and The Last Chance Texaco)
Carolyn Mackler
(who wrote The Earth, My Butt, & Other Big Round Things, etc.)
Cat Bauer
(who wrote Harley, Like a Person)
Cathy Hopkins
(who wrote Mates, Dates & Inflatable Bras -- and many others)
Cecily Von Ziegesar
(who wrote Gossip Girl and all its sequels)
Cherie Bennett
(who wrote Life in the Fat Lane, A Heart Divided, etc.)
D.L Garfinkle
(who wrote Storky)
Daniel Ehrenhaft
(who wrote Ten Things to Do Before I Die, Tell it to Naomi and The After Life)
David Levithan
(who wrote Boy Meets Boy, Realm of Possibility and Are We There Yet?)
Ellen Wittlinger
(who wrote Hard Love, Heart on My Sleeve and many others)
Gordon Korman
(who wrote Son of The Mob, etc.)
Gregory Maguire
(who wrote Wicked, etc.)
Holly Black
(who wrote Tithe and Valiant)
J. Minter
(who wrote The Insiders)
Jacqueline Woodson
(who wrote From the Notebooks of Melanin Sun, I Hadn't Meant to Tell You This, etc.)
Jennifer Anne Kogler
(who wrote Ruby Tuesday)
Jennifer Donnelly
(who wrote Northern Light and The Tea Rose)
John Green
(who wrote Looking for Alaska, Paper Towns, etc.)
Joseph Weisberg
(who wrote Tenth Grade)
Judy Blume
(who wrote Forever, Deenie, and Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret)
Julie Anne Peters
(who wrote Luna, Far from Xanadu, etc.)
Justine Larbalestier
(who wrote Magic or Madness, Liar, How to Ditch Yr Fairy)
Katherine Paterson
(who wrote Bridge to Terebithia)
Katie Maxwell
(who wrote The Year My Life Went Down the Loo and much more)
KL Going
(who wrote Fat Kid Rules the World)
Kristen Kemp
(who wrote I Will Survive and The Dating Diaries, among others)
Lara M. Zeises
(who wrote Bringing Up the Bones, Anyone But You and Contents Under Pressure)
Laurie Halse Anderson
(who wrote Speak, Prom and Catalyst, among others)
Louise Rennison
(who wrote all those funny Georgia Nicolson books)
M.E. Kerr
(who wrote 'Hello', I Lied, Dinky Hocker Shoots Smack! etc.)
Mariah Fredericks
(who wrote The True Meaning of Cleavage)
Mary E. Pearson
(who wrote A Room on Lorelei Street, Adoration of Jenna Fox, etc.)
Mary Hogan
(who wrote The Serious Kiss)
Maryrose Wood
(who wrote Sex Kittens & Horn Dawgs, The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place, etc.)
Maureen Johnson
(who wrote The Key to the Golden Firebird and 13 Little Blue Envelopes)
Meg Cabot
(who wrote The Princess Diaries)
Meg Rosoff
(who wrote How I Live Now, etc.)
Megan McCafferty
(who wrote Sloppy Firsts and Second Helpings)
Melvin Burgess
(who wrote Smack, Doing It, Lady: My Life as a Bitch, and many others)
Mitali Perkins
(who wrote Monsoon Summer and Sunita Sen)
Nancy Werlin
(who wrote Double Helix, Black Mirror, and other teen thrillers)
Naomi Nash
(who wrote Chloe, Queen of Denial, You Are So Cursed, etc.)
Natalie Standiford
(who wrote The Dating Game, How to Say Goodbye in Robot, etc.)
Ned Vizzini
(who wrote Be More Chill and Teen Angst)
Pete Hautman
(who wrote Mr. Was, Sweetblood, Stone Cold, and many others.)
Rachel Cohn
(who wrote Gingerbread, Shrimp & Pop Princess)
Rosemary Graham
(who wrote My Not-So-Terrible Time at the Hippie Hotel and Thou Shalt Not Dump the Skater Dude)
Sarah Dessen
(who wrote That Summer, Someone Like You, etc.)
Sarah Mylnowski
(who wrote Bras & Broomsticks, How to Be Bad, Gimme a Call...)
Scott Westerfeld
(who wrote Pretties and Uglies, So Yesterday and Peeps)
Sonya Sones
(who wrote What My Mother Doesn't Know, and others)
Sue Limb
(who wrote Girl, 15, Charming but Insane, etc.)
Susan Juby
(who wrote Alice, I Think and other Alice MacLeod books)
Tanya Lee Stone
(who wrote A Bad Boy Can Be Good for a Girl)
Tracy Lynn, also known as Celia Thompson
(who wrote Snow -- and as Thompson, the Nine Lives of Chloe King series)

Things I Wish I Knew in High School

If someone tells you that you are oversensitive, that person is probably a jerk.
Always use protection. Yes, you. Yes, always.
Boys who say, “I’m kind of messed up,” probably are.
If someone asks for your phone number and that person
creeps you out, it's okay to give the wrong number.
When you don't want to talk to someone, you don't
have to pick up the telephone.

About the Amazon Links

The thumbnail images of books and albums on this site connect you to Amazon.com -- but that's because Amazon and my web service provider have a partnership, so it's extremely easy to put images on my site.
However, I don't get any kind of kickback if you buy any of these items and I don't endorse any particular bookstore over any other.

1. My awesome web designer, Theo Black, made me two cool Disreputable History t-shirts with the insignia of The Loyal Order.

2. I have a stack of Dramarama audiobooks, hot off the presses and read by a real live Broadway star.

3. So: I am having a contest! A super easy contest that will last until MIDNIGHT FEBRUARY 14th, after which there will be two winners!

Each person will get a signed book of their choice (except Disreputable. I have no copies of that -- I gave them all away); a Dramarama CD (or CD with mp3); and a shirt.

Here's all that's required.

Make me laugh.

IN THE COMMENTS TO THIS POST ONLY, tell me a joke or something that happened to you. Or point me to a link, or post an LOLcat. I am really pretty easy to please. Just nothing inappropriate for the readers of this blog who are YOUNG PERSONS, thank you very much. Filthy jokes make me laugh as much as the next girl --- but I need them left off this blog.

If I laugh, your name will be entered into a drawing and there will be two selected at random from the piles of amusing items.

I have no idea if anyone will enter. Maybe no one will. Maybe the long winter will sap you all of your amusing anecdotes, or maybe anyone who reads this blog already owns the Dramarama audio.

But if people do enter, comments area will be just a festival of amusing amusing tidbits that can make every blog visitor have a better day. Eh? And two people will get Theo's awesome t-shirts plus some free Lockhartian reading experiences.

Below, proof of how easy it is to make me laugh.

Sadye's iMix

Click here for more Dramarama stuff -- including videos.
All the songs from Dramarama
are here, on an iMix. You click on the link above and iTunes will open straight to the mix. Listen before you read Dramarama to make sure you get every little musical reference. Listen afterwards to get a sense of Sadye and Demi's musical world. In any case, these are some of my favorite showtunes of all time. Songs from Rent, Wicked, Guys & Dolls, Cabaret, Chicago, Bye Bye Birdie, Oliver!, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Jersey Boys, Grease, Fame, Sweet Charity, Little Shop of Horrors, and more.

True and Embarassing Things about E.

I had a frizzy perm for several years.
I was voted worst driver in my senior class.
I wore light blue eyeshadow in high school.
Like Roo, I once let a boy feel my boob in a movie theater for the duration of an entire movie.
The movie was "Tarzan: The Legend of Greystoke."
I went to two different high schools; at one I was unpopular and
friendless; at the other, just the opposite.
I have two cats and one of them is a big barfer.
Orthodonture history includes three years of braces,
headgear, rubber bands. And I've still got an overbite.
My first kiss was at the age of sixteen.
The first record I bought was a 45 of AC/DC
singing "You Shook Me All Night Long"

Teen Writers Who Blog

Alan Gratz
Gratz wrote Samurai Shortstop, The Brooklyn Nine, Something Wicked. He has a video blog!
Ally Carter
Author of the Gallagher Series. A very fun blog.
Bennett Madison
Madison wrote Lulu Dark Can See Through Walls and I promise you his blog is very very amusing.
Holly Black
Black wrote Tithe and the Spiderwick Chronicles. She updates her journal pretty regularly.
Jaclyn Moriarty
Moriarty wrote Feeling Sorry for Celia, The Murder of Bindy Mackenzie, The Spell Book of Listen Taylor and The Year of Secret Assignments.
Jennifer Anne Kogler
Ruby Tuesday's author, on what she ate for breakfast and writing updates.
Jody Gehrman
She wrote Confessions of a Triple-shot Betty.
John Green
Green wrote Looking for Alaska, Paper Towns etc. and blogs about his life and updates with questionable regularity and considerable humor. Also an extensive videoblog together with his brother Hank -- worth checking out.
Julie Anne Peters
The author of Luna and other books blogs every few days about current events and her life.
Justine Larbalastier
Justine wrote Magic or Madness and How to Ditch Your Fairy. Her blog's about publishing and Australia and fiction and fantasy.
Lara M. Zeises
The author of Contents Under Pressure and Bringing Up the Bones has a live journal, updated all the time, mainly about YA literature and the publishing biz.
Lauren Myracle
Myracle wrote TTYL, TTFN etc, plus Bliss, Rhymes with Witches... blog is very funny and she is one of the most banned writers in America.
Laurie Halse Anderson
She wrote Prom and Speak, among others. Her blog includes tour pictures and stuff about her personal life. Updated nearly every day.
Libba Bray
Bray wrote Rebel Angels and A Great and Terrible Beauty. She writes every now and then about her writing process and daily life.
Mary E. Pearson
Pearson wrote A Room on Lorelei Street, Scribbler of Dreams and David V. God. The blog covers teen books and publishing.
Maureen Johnson
Johnson wrote Suite Scarlett, Devilish, Girl at Sea, etc. A most hilarious blog.
Megan McCafferty
McCafferty wrote Sloppy Firsts, Second Helpings etc. She has a "retroblog" of journal entries from long ago.
Mitali Perkins
Perkins, who wrote Monsoon Summer etc., talks about books and life between cultures.
Sarah Dessen
The author of That Summer, Someone Like You, Dreamland, etc. keeps a constantly updated web journal with a huge following.
Sarah Mlynowski
Bras & Broomsticks author updates every now and then with photos, publishing news and other fun stuff.
Scott Westerfeld
The man wrote Peeps, Midnighters, Pretties, and other stuff. His blog gets a million comments and it's always thought-provoking.
Suzanne Young
Author of The Naughty List and So Many Boys.
Tanya Lee Stone
Stone wrote A Bad Boy Can Be Good for a Girl and lots of other books, too.
Tracy Lynn, also known as Celia Thompson
Lynn (author of Snow), aka Thompson (author of the Chloe King series), aka Liz Braswell, blogs about gaming, her family, the writing process, and more.
Zoe Trope
The author of Please Don't Kill The Freshman puts up pictures of her laundry and details her doctor's visits. Not for the faint of heart.

Comments

I am a youth services librarian, so this link always makes me laugh because it is so true! Hopefully it will make you giggle as well

http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060910

Posted by: Rochelle | January 28, 2009 at 09:57 PM

Hmm. Thinking...thinking....still thinking...

Well, last week during Spanish class we were discussing the culture of Spain, and this happened:

Teacher: Where is oil from Spain exported?

Student: GREECE!

Please note that the answer to this question is found on the page we were looking at.

And this happened earlier in the year during my friend's biology presentation:

Friend: I choosed this topic-

Teacher: Choosed?

Friend: Yes.

Teacher: You choosed it?

Friend: Yes, I choosed it.

Rest of class: -laughter-

Teacher: Choosed it?

Friend: YES, I CHOOSED IT!

Teacher: Continue then.

Friend (20 minutes later, at lunch): Oh, choosed isn't a word.

I also find this very funny:

http://www.explosm.net/comics/70/

Posted by: khy | January 28, 2009 at 10:05 PM

If you're mad at me- why are you complimenting my HEAD?!

from one of my friends, we immediatly became friends again after she said that. it made me laugh, i hope it does the same to you. :]

Posted by: Brianna | January 28, 2009 at 10:08 PM

My favorite LOLCats are LOLmonkeys.

Posted by: Laura | January 28, 2009 at 10:14 PM

And hey - it's funny when people forget to include the link! Right? Right? http://biblauragraphy.wordpress.com/

Posted by: Laura | January 28, 2009 at 10:16 PM

And then it's not funny at all when they accidentally link their stupid blog instead. All the humor is gone, but here's my favorite LOLMonkey anyway. http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/04/20/funny-pictures-finds-no-joy-in-his-job/

Posted by: Laura | January 28, 2009 at 10:17 PM

Since this is literary, a lolpotter I made:

Posted by: Jeff | January 28, 2009 at 10:31 PM

Knock Knock
Who's There
Smell Mop
Smell Mop Who----> say this outloud slowly until you laugh.

No thank you.

Posted by: Megan | January 28, 2009 at 10:32 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeYpYFBCl_g

Posted by: Chelse | January 28, 2009 at 10:32 PM

I don't need to enter this contest, but here:

http://www.sexypeople-blog.com/

(yes, its safe for young'uns.)

Posted by: Jill | January 28, 2009 at 10:37 PM

Here's a handful of links to pictures I find silly, my favorites at the beginning to save you time:

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/oodelally/4d1wdvr.jpg

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/oodelally/1161914878034.png

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/oodelally/pak.gif

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/oodelally/6a00c2252674448e1d00d414402abb685e-.jpg

And if those four pictures didn't do it for you, just picture three cabbages munching on a gold lame suit.

Posted by: Teagan | January 28, 2009 at 10:42 PM

"What's wrong?"

"You hurt my rib, like, when you hugged me."

"I'm sorry bug."

"That's ok."

"You need to be touched more."

Me:

"As a baby, you never wanted to be held."

"Oh."

If I didn't make you laugh already, oh well. I love contests! They're always so exciting.

Posted by: Brianna | January 28, 2009 at 10:51 PM

Yesterday my friend and I are sitting in her office and we are looking at online bridesmaid presents(she's getting married) and there is this kit and a list of stuff inside it, stuff like static resistant spray, band aids, a tampon, clear nail polish. We're reading out loud when
ME: "Dancing socks, why do you need dancing socks?"
and she sits there for a minute and goes "oh.."
ME: "You just realized they weren't ~dancing~ socks, huh?"
HER: "Shut up."

Posted by: Jillian | January 28, 2009 at 11:27 PM

En Engineer's Guide to Cats:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHXBL6bzAR4

I can't get over how amazing this video is.

Posted by: Elena | January 28, 2009 at 11:31 PM

Hmmmm...The only thing I can think of is m 2 year old Sadie. We were driving home from school, eating chicken nuggets and she finished her bite. She then proceeded to say "Moooooooo". Apparently she had decided that she must moo in order to get another chicken nugget!
And just for good measure:
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=117005239&albumID=490598&imageID=36700538

Posted by: Melissa N Walker | January 28, 2009 at 11:51 PM

Okay I found this on a website I LOVE but I didnt write it, its more of a joke.
29 Fun things to do When Sales People Call

Tell them she/he can’t come to the phone right now as they are in deep meditation and may stay that way for days.

Start telling them about the wonderful encyclopedias you have in stock.

Start telling them your life story

Tell them about your intense hatred for salespeople, then ask where they live

Reply to all their questions in song

Ask for someone who can translate pig Latin, as you speak no other language

Hand the phone to the youngest member of the house (under 5)

As soon as they name the corporation they represent begin barking relentlessly

Start trying to give them a psychological analysis

Demand that they refer to you as Dr. Chopsticks

Proudly describe what you found in your ear this morning (ew!)

Ask them what color shoes they are wearing today

Describe your socks in detail

Interrupt them repeatedly to describe the beauty of your new toaster

Whiningly tell thing that it is past your bedtime

Midway through the conversation say, "oh no Phil! You’ve done it again! I told you that knife was too sharp! Where are we going to get the money for another funeral?"

Ask them repeatedly if they believe in antelopes

Refuse to answer any of their questions, as they may be one of THEM!

Ask them what they think would happen if you put a frog in a blender later tell them they were wrong

Ask them for their phone number so that you can call them back and chat some more

Burst into tears when they try to hang up and scream "Don’t leave Me!"

Tell them about the time when you got stuck in the doggy door

When they ask to speak to you spend a long time trying to decide if that really is your name and after you realize it is ask them to remind you of it occasionally

Proudly explain that they are the first person that you have spoken to since you return to Earth

In the middle of the conversation start humming the sesame street theme song, when they try to speak sound surprised and say, "Is someone there?"

Begin snoring

Gleefully explain that "they" have come for you and that you are going to a better place

- Unknown
so I hope this counts and obviously makes you laugh

Posted by: Britta | January 29, 2009 at 12:24 AM

This
http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff91/heisdashmatt/Elephant-Moon.jpg
is all I have to say.

Posted by: Raelyn | January 29, 2009 at 12:49 AM

Posted by: Raelyn | January 29, 2009 at 12:51 AM

My new favorite pick-up line:

"You got any raisins?"

"No."

"How 'bout a date?"

Posted by: Katelyn | January 29, 2009 at 01:00 AM

I haven't been able to watch this without laughing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW--7ZmXrXo&feature=related

Posted by: Josie | January 29, 2009 at 06:35 AM

Grr, it didn't link right:

http://www.internationalhouseofbacon.com/images/pottercar.jpg

Posted by: Jeff | January 29, 2009 at 06:36 AM

Kermit the Frog and Christian Bale: evil twins?

http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/27350111.html

Posted by: Martha Bee | January 29, 2009 at 08:30 AM

This combines two of my favorite things: LOLspeak and poking harmless fun at Twilight. Makes me laugh hysterically every time I read it. You might not think it's funny if you haven't seen the movie or read the books, but meh. Enjoy:

http://community.livejournal.com/m15m/19551.html

Posted by: Steph | January 29, 2009 at 09:05 AM

oh crap.
i'm really not funny at all..

i have a few...i'll try.

joke 1-
girl- knock knock?
boy- who's there?
....

joke 2-
have you ever had ethiopian food?
...
neither have they.

that ones pretty bad, but funny.

and i believe my third and final joke to be entirely true.

joke 3-
Why is it so hard for single women to find great men?
....
Because they all have boyfriends.

see.
i'm not funny.
but i tried.

Posted by: Robby | January 29, 2009 at 09:19 AM

Ok I am going to teach you something.

If someone asks you if you've noticed that they've lost weight you are suppost to say "yes.". Not say no and then start laughing. That would be a very wrong thing to do.

I am a very bad preson.
Do not be like me.

Posted by: Nicole a. | January 29, 2009 at 11:09 AM