The Boyfriend List

From the novel, THE BOYFRIEND LIST, by E. Lockhart.

Here it is, the Boyfriend List. In chronological order.

1. Adam (but he doesn’t count.)
2. Finn (but people just thought so.)
3. Hutch (but I'd rather not think about it.)
4. Gideon (but it was just from afar.)
5. Ben (but he didn't know.)
6. Tommy (but it was impossible.)
7. Chase (but it was all in his mind.)
8. Sky (but he had someone else.)
9. Michael (but I so didn't want to.)
10. Angelo (but it was just one date.)
11. Shiv (but it was just one kiss.)
12. Billy (but he didn't call.)
13. Jackson (yes, okay, he was my boyfriend. Don't ask me any more about it.)
14. Noel (but it was all a mistake.)
15. Cabbie (but I'm undecided.)

Before anyone reading this thinks to call me a slut -- or even just imagines I'm incredibly popular --- let me point out that the above list includes absolutely every single boy I have ever had the slightest, little, any-kind-of-anything with.
Boys I never kissed are on this list.
Boys I never even talked to are on this list.
Doctor Z told me not to leave anyone off. Not even if I think he's unimportant.
In fact, especially if I think he's unimportant.
Doctor Z is my shrink, and she says that for purposes of the list, the boyfriends don't have to be official. Official, unofficial -- she says it doesn't matter, so long as I remember the boy and something about what happened.
The list was a homework assignment for my mental health. She told me to write down all the boyfriends, kind-of boyfriends, almost-boyfriends, rumored boyfriends and wished-he-were boyfriends I've ever had. Plus, she recommended I take up knitting.
I still have some doubts about Doctor Z, though by now I've been seeing her for almost four months. I mean, if I knew a 15 year-old who sat around knitting sweaters all day, I'd definitely think she had some mental health problems.

WHAT HAPPENED, YOU WANT TO KNOW?

In the same ten days I --
lost my boyfriend (boy #13)
lost my best friend
lost all my other friends
learned gory details about my now-ex boyfriend's sexual adventures
did something shockingly advanced with boy #15
did something suspicious with boy #10
had an argument with boy #14
drank my first beer
got caught by my mom
lost a lacrosse game
failed a math test
hurt Meghan's feelings
became a leper
and became a famous slut.
Enough to give anyone panic attacks, right?
I was so overwhelmed by the horror of the whole debacle that I had to skip school for a day to read mystery novels, cry, and eat spearmint jelly candies.

TO FIND OUT MORE, PICK UP THE BOOK, in stores, March 22, 2005.